Teens with ADHD tend to have a hard time with skills like perspective taking, situational awareness, responding appropriately to others’ emotions, initiation, cognitive flexibility and using humour appropriately, even if they are socially motivated. Keeping up with unspoken social rules can make even simple interactions feel like navigating a minefield.

But social skills are just that—skills that can be learned and strengthened over time, especially with guidance from professionals such as speech pathologists, psychologists, and caring adults in their world—like you.

What Do Social Skill Difficulties Look Like?

It can be hard to tell from afar how well your teen is managing social situations. There are some clear indicators that social relationships might not be going as well as they could be.

A teen retreating into video games, social media, or online realms to potentially escape the uncertainty and unpredictable nature of socialising is a common red flag. While there might be some positives to come from online pursuits, they need to be balanced with real-world relationships with peers.

You might also notice your teen being inflexible when others express different viewpoints, struggling to see things from another perspective, or becoming upset when things don’t go their way socially. They may use very blunt or overly direct language, calling others “annoying” or “weird” without realising how hurtful this can be.

Some teens may have little to no interaction with others outside of school, not receiving invitations to hang out or simply lacking the motivation or confidence to initiate plans.

Another common pattern is an intense desire to connect only with the most popular students, often leading to rejection or disappointment, while overlooking potential friendships with peers who are more compatible or accepting. 

Helpful Tip #1: Use Real-Life Experiences as Learning Moments

Everyday social situations offer valuable teaching opportunities. After a party or group activity, take a moment to check in with your teen.

If your teen says they felt left out and that friends didn’t respond to their comments or engage in conversation with them, tease out more detail about the interactions. Keep it friendly and non-interrogative in style. Ask questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when you said that?” or “What did others say and do that was received well? What could you do differently next time?”

These kinds of reflective conversations, done without pressure or judgement, can help teens better understand the cause and effect of social interactions and build greater self-awareness. The goal isn’t to criticise or turn them into someone they’re not, but to explore together what worked, what didn’t, and what they’re learning about peer interactions.

Helpful Tip #2: Practice Conversational Skills in Natural Ways

Many teens with ADHD struggle with conversational flow—they might interrupt, miss social cues, or talk at length without noticing when the other person is losing interest. Rather than correcting these things on the spot, it can help to practice conversational skills in a more relaxed context.

Watching TV shows or movies together is a great starting point—you can pause and chat about how characters communicate, what body language reveals, or how someone might be feeling based on tone of voice. At home, model how to take turns speaking, how to ask follow-up questions, and how to shift topics naturally. These skills take time and repetition, so keep the tone light and supportive.

Helpful Tip #3: Encourage Group Activities and Shared Interests

One of the easiest ways for teens to build confidence is through shared interests. When teens connect over something they enjoy, whether that’s music, sports, drama, gaming, or robotics, the pressure of social performance is reduced. Clubs, team sports, and hobby-based groups offer structure, a sense of belonging, and repeated opportunities to practice social interaction in a more predictable setting. The good news is that not all groups have hefty registration fees like sporting clubs. There are numerous free online groups and some council groups that give neurodivergent teens the opportunity to connect with others.

It’s important to note that taking place in such activities will still require a certain level of parental involvement, support and skill building. Just because there is a shared interest does not mean that foundational social skills and support strategies aren’t required. It’s just a more conducive environment for connections and a more relaxed place to develop these important skills. The goal is to set them up for success by equipping them with the tools they need to feel confident and capable in the company of others.

Helpful Tip #4: Teach Conflict Resolution and Emotional Regulation

Social conflict is part of growing up, but for teens with ADHD, these moments can trigger intense emotions or impulsive reactions. Teaching your teen to pause before reacting, take a breath, and consider how the other person might be feeling can make a big difference.

Help them develop respectful ways of expressing themselves, such as saying, “I felt left out when…” or “I didn’t understand why that happened; can we talk about it?” Practicing these scripts ahead of time through role-play or “what-if” discussions can help them feel more prepared when conflict arises in real life.

Helpful Tip #5: Promote Self-Reflection and Ongoing Growth

Encourage your teen to think about how their social experiences affect them. This doesn’t mean over-analysing every interaction but rather fostering a sense of self-awareness. You might ask, “Did you enjoy spending time with them?” or “Was that group easy to talk to, or did it feel awkward?”

These simple reflections help teens notice patterns such as who they feel good around, what situations drain them, and what types of social settings they prefer. Over time, this insight helps them make more confident decisions about friendships and develop a clearer sense of their social identity. 

Final Thoughts

Supporting your ADHD teen’s social development isn’t about turning them into someone they’re not. It’s about helping them feel more confident in their own skin while learning how to communicate, connect, and respond to others in ways that are respectful and authentic.

Some teens with ADHD may resist parental guidance or feel self-conscious about practicing social skills. Look at alternative options such as connecting during low-pressure activity like walking the dog or a car ride to fulfil “an errand.”

Your attempts to help may sometimes be met with defensiveness and resistance. It’s unrealistic to expect that everyone wants to engage in self-reflection or listen to parental advice all of the time. Pick your moments and expect inconsistency. At its core ADHD is a condition of inconsistent performance.

Keep trying to incrementally improve their social skill levels, because, with encouragement and a fair dose of patience, your teen can build the social skills they need to thrive—not just now but well into adulthood.

Other Resources:

https://raisingchildren.net.au/adhd/social-emotional-wellbeing/adhd-friendships/friends-friendships-teenagers-adhd

https://childmind.org/article/helping-girls-with-adhd-make-friends/